Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
