Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
