Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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