She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
