I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
