I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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