Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
