So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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