I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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