woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
