this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he was CRYING into my vagina
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize