FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
