So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
