I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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