The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
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I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
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Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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