just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
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This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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