yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
