He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
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I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
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whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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