I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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