Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
