For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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