white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
