I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
