he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
