I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
