you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
