Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
