Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
