So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
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Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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