Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
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why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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