He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
