Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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