so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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