Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
