Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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