Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
