You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
