Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
