my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
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