He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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