Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
