how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
