I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
