...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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