sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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