oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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