I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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