I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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