big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
