my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
