im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
