ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We're not piercing ourselves today.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
