Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Randomize
