absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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