Your dad touched me again.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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