just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
