In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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