We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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