Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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