You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
