Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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